


Reaching For The Skies

by carrotcouple



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Angst, I'm Sorry, M/M, follows canon events, not sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 20:21:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12175899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrotcouple/pseuds/carrotcouple
Summary: “Anyone ever tell ‘ee you were beautiful?”“No, not one soul has told me I was beautiful.”“Pity, they wasted their opportunity. I won’t waste mine. You’re beautiful, Seiryuu Abi.”





	Reaching For The Skies

**Author's Note:**

> First, I apologize to those of you who had no idea a ship like this existed. Second, I apologize to those of you who have at least considered this ship and are about to read this. Third, I apologize to all of you who didn't know the ship existed but are going to read this anyway.

Falling in love, in Abi’s opinion, was like following a bird flying in the sky, never able to catch up to it. But of course, that was just his own opinion based off of his own love. And for Abi, falling in love had been the biggest mistake of his life. He had had no intention of falling in love, it only meant disruption to his goal of protecting his king. Moreover, finding someone willing to put up with him, his attitude and his monster like abilities now was impossible.

“Abi, can you find Shuten? We’ve been looking everywhere.” Hiryuu called Abi, breaking him out of his reverie. Abi looked up from the scroll he had been reading through.

“Shouldn’t he be up in the trees or on some rooftop?” Abi got up and dusted off his clothes.

“That’s what we thought and we’ve been searching but we just can’t find him. We even used our dragon connection to find him, but other than determining that he’s somewhere in this wing, nothing.” Guen ruffled his hair with his human hand. Abi nodded and then gazed around, drinking in the sights and then spotting the Ryokuryuu on top of the spire on the roof.

“Found him, he’s on the top most point of the roof.” Abi turned back to Guen and Hiryuu.

“Well, why don’t you shout the best insult you can find to get him to come down?” Guen suggested.

“Now, we don’t have to-” Hiryuu started.

“Hey, drunkard shark face! Get down here!” Abi yelled.

“What was that, you bastard?” Shuten roared, landing in front of them in one bound. “Do you want a taste of my spear?”

“I’ll paralyze you before you even move an inch!” Abi shouted back.

“Just try it, you freak!” Shuten snarled.

“Bring it on, you hooligan!” Abi hissed.

“Both of you, please stop.” Hiryuu sighed. Abi and Shuten straightened up, still glaring at each other. “Shall we now go for the peace meeting with the tribes from the west?”

“Yes, King Hiryuu.” Shuten, Abi and Guen chorused simultaneously.

“Well then, let’s go. Zeno should be waiting for us by the gate.”

Abi wasn’t sure when exactly it started. Perhaps it was when they were in a fight and Shuten saved him. It had happened countless times after all. But Abi was pretty sure his feelings weren’t so shallow. Maybe it was listening to him talk when he was drunk? He was extremely affectionate and ridiculous when he was drunk. Whatever it was, Abi couldn’t put his finger on it.

“Ryokuryuu, come down from that tree. The King is looking for you.” Abi called up into the dense leaves. Somehow, he was always the one sent to find Shuten. Well, he was the second youngest. The King had become very protective of Zeno, so Zeno didn’t have as many errands to run like he used to. If the rest of them weren’t as sharp as they were, they might have protested about favoritism but they all could see it, the youngest member had somehow changed and it worried all of them.

“Ah, pushed around by Hakuryuu again, were you, second youngest?” Shuten landed next to Abi.

“I don’t want to hear a thing from you, Ryokuryuu.” Abi muttered.

“Call me ‘Shuten’, why don’t you? We’ve known each other long enough and have been through all kinds of things together, Abi.” Shuten poked his forehead and then walked off. Abi stood there, his face painted red.

“Unfair bastard…” Abi mumbled, clenching his fists.

Abi very well knew that having such feelings for the other was wrong and he did his best to keep it a secret and he would carry it to his grave. But he could at least wish and imagine and stare at the other when no one else was watching. That much at least he wished to be allowed.

“Lord Seiryuu, may I have a word with you?” Abi’s shogi match with Guen was interrupted by one of the army general’s daughter. Guen sent Abi a lazy grin and Abi made a face at him.

“Ah yes,” Abi got to his feet and followed after her, turning to look back at Guen with a glare. ‘Stay where you are!’ Abi mouthed at Guen. Guen pouted and Abi frowned at him before he continued to follow the girl. Once they were at what the girl assumed was a safe distance, she turned to him, her face flushed.

“Lord Seiryuu, I am in love with you. Would you mind having marriage talks with my father?” She gripped her hands together and gazed down at the ground. Abi looked down at her feeling oddly empty.

“I’m sorry, but I do not think I have ever spoken to you, young lady. What is it that you love about me?” Abi asked.

“Huh? Uh, well you’re handsome and brave and when I see your eyes I feel like you can see into my soul.” Abi shifted uncomfortably. She wasn’t wrong, he could see into her soul, just not the kind of soul she was thinking. “Animals love you, and you have this elegant air about you, I just really like you, Lord Seiryuu!” The girl squeezed her eyes shut. “I won’t expect you to answer right away, my Lord! If you would be interested, then please meet with my father.” She spun around and ran. Abi sighed. She was still a little girl. As if he would get married to someone so young, someone who didn’t know how much of a monster he was. He turned and started to walk back to where he was hoping Guen was properly waiting instead of eavesdropping. Abi froze when he spotted Shuten staring at him. Abi turned red. Had he seen all of that?

“What was that about?” Shuten asked blankly.

“It doesn’t concern you,” Abi shrugged and continued on his way. Shuten suddenly grabbed the front of his robes and pulled him back roughly so he was facing him.

“I asked you what that was about!” Shuten snapped. Abi stared with wide eyes.

“What’s this? Were you perhaps jealous that I was approached by a young girl before you were?” Abi snickered. What was he saying?! “Or perhaps you’ve had your eyes on that girl and you’re jealous she approached me?” Abi willed himself to stop speaking but he couldn’t. “That’s no good, Shuten. If you like a young girl you should approach her father. Although, that one seems a little young for you, maybe you should move sights to an older girl?”

Shuten stared at him for a second longer before he let go of Abi and walked away. Abi stood there, his hands shaking. What had just happened?

Loving Shuten ate away at Abi every day and some nights his dreams revealed his deepest desires. His one sided love had lasted for so long he ached for Shuten to touch him. He craved Shuten’s touch, it didn’t matter how he touched him. Sometimes when they fought, Shuten would grab him by the collar and Abi’s breath would hitch when Shuten’s knuckles brushed ever so slightly against his throat. Sometimes when they ate, Shuten would eat Abi’s sweets when Abi wasn’t it the mood. The way their fingers would touch for just a second when Abi passed his dish over would leave Abi’s mind reeling.

On the night of the Prince’s birthday, the dragons gathered together in a private room and drank and joked. Even Zeno joined in, although he passed out rather quickly. Guen was the second to pass out, he had already been drinking before any of them had started. Abi was a rather light drinker, so he hadn’t had much. It irritated him how much Shuten could drink and still seem completely sober, aside from the slight personality changes. Abi swirled the sake in his cup and glanced at Shuten subtly, watching the man pour more sake into his cup. Abi found his eyes glued to Shuten’s fingers and the way they gently but firmly held the sake bottle despite how drunk he was. Abi swallowed, he wanted those fingers to touch him, to hold his wrists just as gently and just as firmly.

“Abi,” Shuten said. Abi started, praying the other hadn’t noticed him staring. “Anyone ever tell ‘ee you were beautiful?” Shuten asked his words stumbling over each other in his drunk state. Abi blinked.

“No, not one soul has told me I was beautiful.” Abi answered.

“Pity, they wasted their opportunity. I won’t waste mine. You’re beautiful, Seiryuu Abi.” Shuten looked at him straight in the eyes. Abi’s eyes widened and he felt heat rush to his face. Abi quickly threw his hands over his face and attempted to make a quick run for it. He couldn’t handle a situation like this when he was close to becoming drunk and his heart was beating faster than it ever had in his life. His mind and heart were already jumping to all kinds of conclusions. “Hey, where do you think you’re going?” Shuten’s hands grabbed Abi’s and Abi panicked. Shuten pulled him and with a yelp, Abi fell forward and into Shuten’s embrace.  Abi felt dizzy, there was way too much blood in his head and he couldn’t think straight. “Why’re you running away?” Shuten asked, pulling Abi’s hands clearly away from his face and looking at him.

“Because I want to, you drunkard!” Abi cried out, trying to hide his face.

“You’re all red, are you drunk?” Shuten asked.

“You’re the one drunk, idiot!” Abi wailed, wanting to be free of Shuten before his body and heart did things he had no control over. Shuten raised his hands to Abi’s face and cupped it, thumbs resting on the red marks under Abi’s eyes.

“Your eyes are even prettier when you’re drunk, Abi.” Shuten said thoughtfully. Abi’s brain shut down and his heart went into overdrive. Tears welled out of Abi’s eyes.

“Like I said, you’re the drunk one, idiot!” Abi went limp in Shuten’s arms. Shuten seemed startled Abi had started crying, he leaned forward and then suddenly ran his tongue against Abi’s cheek, licking a tear clear off. Abi went even redder. “What did you just do?!” Shuten stuck out his tongue.

“Salty…”

“Of course they’re salty! They’re my tears! What are you even-” Abi was cut off by Shuten’s mouth on his. Abi’s entire system short-circuited. Shuten deepened the kiss and pulled Abi closer until Abi’s body was melting into his. One of Shuten’s hands rested on Abi’s back, pressing him against Shuten and the other hand caressed Abi’s throat, thumb pressing deliciously on Abi’s fluttering pulse.

“Sweet…” Shuten murmured. “You taste so sweet, Abi.” Abi whimpered, his mind too shocked to even realize what it was that Shuten was talking about. Abi thought he might drown, just drown in Shuten’s arms and he wouldn’t mind. Shuten pulled away, looking into Abi’s half lidded eyes. Both of them gasped for breath for a bit and Abi collected himself. Shuten suddenly looked away.

“Sorry, pretend I never did that, Abi.”

“What?” Abi was stunned.

“I’m just drunk-” Shuten began. Abi shot to his feet.

“Now wait a moment! You can’t tell me you just randomly kissed me when you were drunk! YOU’RE ALWAYS DRUNK AROUND ME! You…you know I like you, so why?” Abi bit his lip.

“That’s the problem you see, I’d only hurt you.” Shuten shrugged. “Abi, I’m the Ryokuryuu. I never stay in one place. Flight is in my nature. One day, you’ll understand.” Shuten turned to smile at Abi, his eyes soft and gentle. Abi’s lip trembled.

“I don’t understand…” But he did understand, more than he wanted to. He understood. Loving Shuten was like chasing a bird in the sky and never reaching it. Shuten would never be tied to Abi. Shuten got to his feet and bent down, pressing his forehead against Abi’s.

“Sorry, little Abi. I’ll be going to my room now. If you want, I can walk you to yours too.” Abi lowered his eyes, biting his lip so hard he was scared it would bleed.

“I’ll be fine. I can get back to my room by myself just fine.” Abi whispered. Shuten gave him another soft smile, pecked him on the lips and then turned and walked out of the room.

Their relationship went back to normal after that night. Abi would have avoided him at all costs, but the Ryokuryuu didn’t give him the chance too. The only change was that Abi didn’t have to go hunting for him whenever they couldn’t find him. Shuten was always up in a nearby tree away from sight but close enough for them to just yell at him to come down. There was no more unnecessary touching. Abi hadn’t noticed Shuten used to deliberately touch him until he stopped and now it was always Zeno sitting next to him to eat, standing next to him when they went out for battle and the like.

Their interactions were the same as always, always yelling at each other, Shuten sometimes teasing him. But Abi knew, what had happened wasn’t a dream, it wasn’t a mistake. Sometimes he could feel Shuten’s gaze burning into his back and it hurt him in ways he never thought it would.

“Abi, come sit with me.” Hiryuu patted the floorboards next to him. Abi the books he was holding down and padded over to sit next to his king. They both were arranging books inside Hiryuu’s personal library. “Are you in love with Shuten?” Abi’s heart skipped a beat.

“H-how did…” Abi stammered. He squeezed his eyes shut and then bowed his head. “I’m sorry, my king! It’s unseemly of a Dragon Warrior to hold such feelings for another Dragon Warrior. I’m so sorry!” Abi clenched his fists.

“I’m not angry at you, Abi. You have no reason to apologize.” Hiryuu’s said kindly. “It’s alright for you to love Shuten. None of us will stop you but Shuten himself. I suppose you two have talked about this?”

“Yes…” Abi whispered, the hurt in his heart starting to resurface.

“I can imagine what the conversation was like…I’m sorry, Abi.” Hiryuu put his hand on Abi’s head. Abi felt tears threatening to spill and he let himself be wrapped in his king’s arms as he cried.

The day Hiryuu died, Guen cried the most. Zeno cried a little but was otherwise quiet. Looking at Zeno was painful, he was a ball of held back sorrow and pain and none of them knew what to say to him. Abi stared blankly for a long time, hands covering his face so that Hiryuu’s family wouldn’t feel unnerved by his blank eyed stare. He wasn’t quite sure how to react. He felt empty, like his heart had been plucked from his body and had died with Hiryuu. His blood mourned Hiryuu’s passing and so did he, but he couldn’t speak. He couldn’t weep. There was a stopper on his soul and he felt like a bystander watching the proceedings. Shuten had cried with Guen and Zeno but had vanished soon after up into the trees or on a roof.

At nightfall, the Prince’s mother urged them to leave Hiryuu’s side and rest. They had left reluctantly, not wanting to burden the grieving lady. Abi doubted any of them were getting any sleep that night. Abi made his way to one of the gardens when staying in his room became too stifling. Shuten landed in front of him. Abi sighed. He didn’t want to have to deal with anything to do with feelings.

“Look at you, did you even cry at all?” Shuten was holding his face with two hands before Abi could protest. Abi looked away. “How like you. You’re always so calm and collected and then when you think no one’s looking you break down by yourself. Aren’t you so self-destructive, Abi dear?”

“Don’t add ‘dear’ at the end,” Abi muttered in irritation. Shuten chuckled, but it was dry and empty. He pressed his forehead against Abi’s. “Let go of me, you brut-”

“Neh, Abi, do you remember the way our king smiled?” Shuten whispered. Abi froze, Hiryuu’s smiling face flashing in his mind. “Do you remember the way he called each of our names differently, but with just as much love in each name?” Yes, Abi did remember. The numb feeling in where his heart was, was slowly starting to throb. “Do you remember he brought each of us everything we wanted on New Year’s Day and we all forgot to buy anything for him at all?” Abi almost laughed at the memory, but it was starting to hurt. “Do you remember what it was like when he used to hug us?”

_ “I’m sorry, Abi.” _

A sob made its way out of Abi’s throat and then he started crying his eyes out. Shuten let go of his face and pushed his face into his chest, letting Abi cry in the privacy of Shuten’s arms.

The news of Hiryuu’s death spread like wildfire and a couple of small skirmishes happened at the borders of the country, leaving the dragons no time for grieving. They had to protect the land that Hiryuu held dear. The unexpected attack though, came a week after Hiryuu’s death. Abi remembered being paralyzed, unable to move and the feel of cold, biting and unforgiving metal against his neck.

Abi wanted to scream, he wanted to rip out the innards of the men who thought they could take advantage of his king’s death. But he couldn’t move. Abi remembered being taken to a small building in which he was tied to a post in the middle and they kicked him and beat him down with the butt of their spears if he so much as twitched.

It hurt. Abi wanted to go back to the palace and cry into his pillows. He wanted to be able to rip the men in front of him apart. He wanted to be by his king’s side. His eyes stung but he refused to cry. He couldn’t cry in front of these men.

“So do we take out his eyes?” someone asked loudly.

A chill ran through Abi. Suddenly the motive of the men became very clear to him. He had to get away as fast as possible. He struggled, desperately trying to move, but his body would not answer him. Someone noticed him and Abi saw the butt of a spear coming down at him.

His vision turned white and red. It hurt. There was blood in his mouth and in his eyes. Abi begged his body to not cry but tears were already filling his eyes.

“No, if we take out his eyes what would we even do with them? Cut off his arms and legs instead so that he can’t go anywhere.” All the men turned to look at him, manic gleams in their eyes. Abi cursed under his breath and prayed his body would respond, mentally trying to shove the growing fear in him down.

“Oh no, you don’t!” Guen yelled. Abi had never been more relieved to see the Hakuryuu tear down people in front of him. A spear impaled the man in front of Abi and Abi’s heart leaped into his throat. It was Shuten. Shuten ripped the man in half with just his spear and then bent down to untie Abi.

“You’re hurt…” Shuten muttered. Abi wanted to see his eyes but his eyes were blurry with tears and fading consciousness.

“…hu…ten…” Abi tried to rasp the Ryokuryuu’s name. Shuten had come for him. Abi wanted nothing more than to cling to Shuten and cry but he couldn’t move.

“Tch! They’re running away!” Guen cursed.

“Hakuryuu, take Seiryuu. I’ll go after them, they can’t run from me.” Abi wanted to protest but he was pushed into Guen’s bear like arms. It was then Abi realized, Shuten hadn’t said his name. Well of course they addressed each other as ‘Ryokuryuu’ and ‘Seiryuu’ in front of the others, but Shuten hadn’t said his name even though Abi had tried so hard to say his. If Shuten just said his name, Abi would have felt safe.

“Oi, you’re bleeding from your head. That’s no good. Stay awake, can you hear me? Seiryuu, can you hear me?” Abi heard Guen’s voice as his consciousness faded away.

When Abi woke up, Zeno told him of everything that had happened. Guen had carried him back, Shuten hadn’t even touched or looked at him. Guen had been by his side constantly but Shuten had vanished off into the skies as always. Abi knew, that was how Shuten was and he also knew that what he wanted was a Shuten who would look at him. This was why Shuten and Abi could never be. It still hurt though. It hurt so much.

So Abi locked himself up with Hiryuu, a blindfold around his eyes. It hurt to see the world with his eyes. He wanted it to look dull and grey, but the Seiryuu’s eyes showed him just how beautiful the world was while he was dying inside. Crying by Hiryuu’s side was a relief.

And slowly that pain mended. Hiryuu was gone and it still hurt more than he could bear, but Abi needed to live for Hiryuu. Shuten would never be by his side and Abi had to accept that fact. Little by little, Abi shoved Shuten out of his heart and mind. If Shuten could shove Abi to the corner of his life, then Abi could do the same. Abi didn’t need to fall in love, he was fine as he was, loving the Dragon Warriors as brothers and loving his king.

“Seiryuu, show me your eyes for the last time.” It was Zeno’s final request on the day they left the palace. Abi had grown distant from all of them, but he had recently managed to re-establish friendly relations with all of them the past week they were getting ready to leave. Thankfully, it was easy to talk to Shuten the way they used to before things had started to fall apart.

“Abi,” It was Zeno’s voice and it startled him. No one had called him by his actual name since Hiryuu had died and Abi locked himself up with Hiryuu. Even Shuten had stopped calling him ‘Abi’. His king used to call him by his name all the time. Old hurts were brought up again and Abi was crying all over again even though he had sworn not to. Zeno gently took off the blindfold. “Oh no, your pretty eyes are swelling up.” Abi sniffled, he couldn’t help it, and there was a world of hurt buried in his heart. “Oh! I wonder if it was better if I called you by your name, Abi!”

“Abi,” Guen deadpanned.

“Abi dear,” Shuten said teasingly.

“Don’t add ‘dear’ to the end!” Abi snapped on reflex just as he realized who it was who called him that. Before he could start to overthink things, Guen pulled them all forward into a hug.

Guen ended his little vow for them to meet each other and Abi walked off, not daring to look at Shuten. He wouldn’t look at Shuten even if it meant it could be the last time they might meet. He wouldn’t turn.

_ “You’re beautiful, Seiryuu Abi.” _

Abi spun around, but Shuten was already gone, swept away by the skies.

The years melted together after that. Abi found a village to stay at and he constantly kept an ear out for anything the dragons might be doing. Zeno was still in the palace and his aura was as strong and youthful as ever. Guen had settled down and Shuten was bouncing around. It wasn’t long before Abi noticed, Shuten seemed to go really close to Guen and Zeno’s locations when he was flitting around but he never came close to Abi’s.

It sort of irritated Abi. Abi knew that they would always have that tension in between the two of them which would make it awkward for them to converse, but still!

It was one winter when he noticed Shuten passing by awfully close. Abi dashed out of his house and stretched out his aura as far as he could, searching for Shuten with his eyes. The moment he spotted Shuten he immobilized him and then took his horse and went to where Shuten was fallen. Shuten was lying sprawled at the base of a tree in what looked like a very uncomfortable person. Shuten saw him and then sighed with a grin.

“Don’t underestimate me, Ryokuryuu. I’m not weak and stupid.” Abi got off his horse and went to stand next to Shuten, looking down at him. Shuten chuckled.

“Oh no, you most definitely are not weak and stupid.” Shuten acknowledged. Abi bent down and pulled out the sake bottle that was stowed under Shuten’s robe.

“Well, I’ll be having a drink and you can just lie there and be entertainment for me.” Abi tied his horse down and popped open the lid of the bottle.

“You’re still as beautiful as ever…” Shuten whispered. Abi’s concentration wavered and he accidentally released Shuten. In an instant, Shuten had grabbed his hand and yanked him down on top of him. Abi let out a sound of outrage. “Isn’t this nice?” Shuten sighed and Abi could hear contentment in his voice. Abi’s heart clenched. There was no way he could put his feelings on the back shelf. There would be no one like Shuten ever again.

“I hate you, you cheat.” Abi muttered.

“Hm? I know you do.” Shuten hummed. “I don’t mind if you do. I still love you.” Abi’s heart thumped wildly in his ribcage.

“What did you say?” Abi rasped.

“I love you, almost as much as I love the skies.” Shuten answered right away. Abi buried his face in Shuten’s cloak.

“I hate you.” Abi muttered. “I hate you so much. I hate you.”

“I know.” Shuten replied again.

They lay there in silence for a while and then Shuten pushed himself up and pulled Abi up with him too.

“I’ll be off then. The skies are calling me.” Shuten flashed a smile at him and Abi looked away. So, he was leaving already. “If I ever come by here again, I’ll see you.” He grabbed Abi’s shoulders, pulled him up and gave him a lingering kiss.

Abi was still standing there long after the skies had claimed the Ryokuryuu.

It was spring when Abi sensed the white flame of the Hakuryuu go out. He had fallen over in bed and had cried all day. Guen had been just as important as Zeno and Shuten and it hurt to feel nothing but a void where he always was.

Abi wasn’t sure when he would go out either. He was old after all and a doctor came by every day to check up on him even though he told the young girl not to. Zeno was still a bright yellow flame that made all of them pale in comparison. Guen’s passing brought a lot of memories back to Abi. Memories of a time long ago in Hiryuu Castle and their carefree days. He wished he could go back. Back to when they were all together. Him, the three other Dragon Warriors and, Hiryuu, his king.

Abi was in the middle of washing one of his clay utensils when he noticed Shuten nearby. Abi’s heart leaped into his throat. It had been quite a few years since he had last seen the other and even though he was old and wrinkly now the presence of the other still made him feel like a little girl. Abi resolved to finish washing his pot before he went to go see Shuten.

The green flame of the Ryokuryuu went out.

Abi’s blood thudded in his ears as the clay pot slipped from his fingers and shattered into a million pieces. Abi turned and willed himself to find strength as he dashed out of his house as fast as his legs would carry him.

No, no, no, no. He wouldn’t accept it.

_ “Anyone ever tell ‘ee you were beautiful?” _

_ “No, not one soul has told me I was beautiful.” _

_ “Pity, they wasted their opportunity. I won’t waste mine. You’re beautiful, Seiryuu Abi.” _

There was a void where the bright green fire used to be.

Abi fell to his knees and screamed into the skies that had taken his Green Dragon away.

**Author's Note:**

> Hahahahaha. Kay actually, I only like barely low key shipped them until I wrote something for the first gen DWs and then I was talking to my wife and we were like 'yeah lowkey ship them' and then we talked about it and before I knew what was happening, I ended up writing this. To you unfortunate people who stumbled upon this, I hope you had fun!


End file.
